“If you’ve ever had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures, you might be a redneck.”
Remember Comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck” jokes? They were tell-tale signs of human behavior that revealed a person was a classless and/or clueless hick. They were funny because you either knew someone who acted like the character in the joke, or could easily see someone behaving that way.
But, my human resources (“HR”) and management friends, did you know that there are also tell-tale signs of employee behavior that reveal that your company will likely be sued?
So without further ado (and with apologies to Mr. Foxworthy), put your hands together and give a warm HR welcome to this Edition of “You Might Be
a Redneck Getting Sued”:
1. If your employee submits a 4 page, single-spaced typed rebuttal to a verbal warning, you might be getting sued.
(And if your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck)*
2. If your employee urgently demands a copy of his personnel file and says he needs to take the afternoon off for “personal business,” you might be getting sued.
(And if you’ve ever financed a tattoo, you might be a redneck)
3. If your employee attempts to tape record her performance review, you might be getting sued.
(And if you have the local taxidermist’s number on speed dial, you might be a redneck)
4. If your employee recites the requirements of an employment law statute better than your HR Department can, you might be getting sued.
(And if you’ve been on TV more than 3 times describing the sound of a tornado, you might be a redneck)
5. If your 70 year old employee (with 35 years of service) that you just terminated has a personnel file thinner than a potato chip, you might be getting sued.
(And if you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck)
6. If your employee walks around with a bulging notebook documenting every conversation she has had with co-workers and supervisors, you might be getting sued.
(And if you’ve ever mowed your lawn and found a car, you might be a redneck)
7. If your employee goes on an epic Facebook rant that his supervisor is treating him “unfairly,” you might be getting sued.
(And, finally, if your idea of a “7-course meal” is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack, you might be a redneck)
Ba dom bomp! Thank you! Don’t forget to tip your waiters and waitresses. I will be here all week…
Of course, getting sued by an employee is no laughing matter. Watch for the above warnings signs. If you observe any of them, make sure that you have a sound business reason (backed up by sufficient documentation) before taking any disciplinary action against the employee. Otherwise, the joke will be on you.
*All jokes courtesy of Mr. Foxworthy
Mitchell W. Quick, Attorney/Partner
Michael Best & Friedrich LLP
100 E. Wisconsin Avenue
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53202